Laryngectomy: Grieving disfigurement and dysfunction

When I (Weber) was three, my father had a total laryngectomy. His stoma did not bother me, and it was common to see him cough through his neck, though I never became used to the excessive secretions produced. My father mastered esophageal speech well, so communication was normal. No one in my family can remember what his voice was like before the operation. Knowing that people stared and whispered about my father, I warned new friends that my dad had a hole in his neck so he could breathe and that he might sound funny to them because he had no voice box. I did not want my friends to be frightened by a stoma that many people see as revolting.