The legitimacy of grieving: the partner's experience at miscarriage

Until quite recently the psychological and emotional effects of miscarriage on women were little understood. Research has now established that such effects are potentially very significant (Neugebauer and Kline, 1992; Leppert and Pahlka, 1984; Lasker and Toedter, 1991), but the role and response of the male partner has received very little attention (Cummings, 1984). When acknowledged at all, the response of the male partner has generally been perceived to be largely as a provider of emotional support to his partner during and after her miscarriage. In this study, based on personal interviews with 20 partners of women in the north of England who experienced a recent miscarriage, a complex set of thoughts, feelings and considerable confusion about appropriate behaviour is revealed, to the extent that such males might feel it necessary to deny their own feelings of grief in a double-bind situation.