Facing the unacceptable: the emotional response to infertility

The emotional response to infertility, a major circumstantial loss, is frequently likened to bereavement. It is described as circumstantial because it does not happen to everyone, unlike a necessary loss, such as being weaned both nutritionally and emotionally. Another circumstantial loss is the death of someone, particularly if one has close emotional ties to this person. It is not surprising to find that a conceptual framework, developed to understand mourning a death, is used to make sense of the reaction to infertility; but this framework alone is not sufficient. The understanding of stigmatization and learned helplessness also assist helping the infertile to come to terms with their loss. It is suggested that the pronatalist tendency of British society results in denial of the stressful nature of infertility which compounds the difficulty in the loss being recognized and makes it exceptionally difficult to grieve.