Trauma and identity through two generations of the Holocaust

In summary, these four second generation women were/are in search of an equilibrium which includes integrating approach-avoidance feelings about their upbringing. They have struggled in various ways, through their own personal styles, with issues of enmeshment with their parents' ordeals, and this has helped to shape their identities. The approach-avoidance dilemma around the suffering of their parents involves finding a way to separate from, yet to include in the meaning of their lives, the suffering of their parents. In these women, empathy preserves the "good" aspect of the parent and in the end allows for separateness to be achieved. An evolution of their approach to the Holocaust occurs throughout their lives and is enhanced by their having children. Creativity and knowledge play an important role in the expression of tormented feelings in both second and third generations. The issues grappled with by the second generation reverberate in their children. This is a group of resolute, serious people who believe in the preciousness of life. They are also thoughtful, empathic youngsters, aware of social and political inequities. These third-generation members feel somewhat burdened by the legacy of the Holocaust, inasmuch as they feel obligated to stand up for Jewish identity and be successful in their own lives. Placing the suffering in a larger group context helps the second generation confront the suffering of their parents. This diminishes individual liability so that the suffering does not have to be taken on personally. The cause goes beyond the self and the family. When, as in Sylvia's case, this outlook is not achieved, the struggle against family enmeshment continues. Seeing the suffering in a group context creates a different set of responsibilities, that of allegiance and closeness to the group. It promotes a need to find meaning in the suffering, a need to cope with the sense of identification with group loss. This urge for empathy is accompanied by its opposite, a wish to dissociate, and the need consequently to negotiate boundaries. The struggle for integration of various feelings becomes a part of their identity in both generations. This paper points to the possibility that, as the Holocaust becomes part of a story, a myth, it becomes a guide (albeit perhaps of a demanding one) by which to live life rather than simply a recall of death. The work of memory has been completed, at times embellished. It also includes, however, a continuous wake up call to vulnerability, a sense of burden, a "chronic" sense of the seriousness and preciousness of life. This paper therefore reflects the fact that suffering can be channeled into identity formation, integrated into an articulation of the meaning of life and a philosophy of life. As the third generation's identity becomes intimately intertwined with its origins, a feeling of continuity is developed which provides a sense of affirmation of the group and of the self. It does, however, also include an awareness of the suffering of that group and in the world at large.