Conflict and aggression in couples therapy: a self psychological vantge point

The intent of the present essay is to correct the misconception that self psychology fails to deal with conflict and aggression. Self psychology does, in fact, have a definite view of conflict and aggression that leads to clear implications for treatment. I will focus upon the applicability of these ideas to psychoanalytic work with couples. Clinical material will be presented in order to illustrate the application of these concepts. Conflict and aggression are not seen as an interference or resistance to be handled or removed. Instead, the occurrence of conflict and aggression may be viewed as an opportunity to address underlying issues. The aim of technique thus becomes the deepening of therapeutic process. The key issue is not the management of conflict and rage. It is the strengthening of functions of affect regulation, containment, and self-cohesion. The emphasis is on the underlying narcissistic vulnerability of both members of the couple, especially during times of conflict. The therapist's attunement to underlying vulnerability is an important aspect of a self psychological approach.