这很复杂:浪漫关系中矛盾的好与坏

Attachment is a long-standing connection or bond with others. While Attachment Theory was conceived in developmental psychology to describe infant-caregiver bonding, it's been extended into adulthood to include romantic relationships. 

We have discussed why we form relationships, what attracts us to others, and different types of love. But what determines whether we are satisfied with and stay in a relationship? One theory that provides an explanation is social exchange theory. According to social exchange theory, we act as naïve economists in keeping a tally of the ratio of costs and benefits of forming and maintaining a relationship with others (Rusbult & Van Lange, 2003).

We typically love the people with whom we form relationships, but the type of love we have for our family, friends, and lovers differs. Robert Sternberg (1986) proposed that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These three components form a triangle that defines multiple types of love: this is known as Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Intimacy is the sharing of details and intimate thoughts and emotions. Passion is the physical attraction—the...

Avoidance-avoidance conflict refers to a psychological situation where a person must choose between two or more unpleasant alternatives. These conflicts are particularly stressful because neither option is desirable. This dilemma is often expressed in sayings like "caught between a rock and a hard place" or "between the devil and the deep blue sea." For instance, individuals who fear dental procedures may find themselves torn between enduring a painful toothache or facing the...

What do you think is the single most influential factor in determining with whom you become friends and whom you form romantic relationships? You might be surprised to learn that the answer is simple: the people with whom you have the most contact. This most important factor is proximity. You are more likely to be friends with people you have regular contact with. For example, there are decades of research that shows that you are more likely to become friends with people who live in your dorm,...

Frustration occurs when people are obstructed or prevented from achieving a desired goal or fulfilling a perceived need. For example, when someone's input is ignored in a discussion, it can lead to feelings of frustration. Conflict, however, arises from opposing interests, goals, or actions. Conflicts can take various forms based on the nature of these opposing desires or goals.
One common type of conflict is the Approach–Approach Conflict. In this case, a person faces two desirable...