Out of their element: fathers of children who are "not the same"

The purpose of this research was to ascertain the meaning of fathering for fathers of children with congenital anomalies. The human becoming theory was the theoretical perspective for this descriptive-exploratory study. Findings showed that fathering for these participants is a desire to grasp the situation, mingled with disturbing feelings, while facing one's limits and gives rise to comforting views. Comfortable-uncomfortable ways of being with others emerge as fathering shifts one from the familiar to the unfamiliar, surfacing the joy-sorrow of the always-changing "now" and the unpredictable "not yet." Implications for further research and practice are also discussed.