To tell or not to tell: the decision-making process of egg-donation parents

Little research has examined the views of parents of children conceived as a result of the use of donated eggs (egg-donation parents) on whether, what and how to tell their children about the way in which they were conceived. Thus, the aim of the present study was to assess the pattern of disclosure in egg-donation families. A representative sample of 17 egg-donation families with a 3-8-year-old child was recruited through UK fertility clinics. All mothers were administered a standardized interview assessing the extent of their disclosure and the main reasons for their decision. Content analysis was carried out on the transcripts from the interviews with the mothers. Not one set of parents had told their child at this stage, and 47% had no intention of telling their child about the way in which they were conceived. Twenty-nine per cent intended to tell their child in the future. Nearly two-thirds had told a friend or family member. Non-disclosure largely stemmed from a desire to protect the child, a belief that there was no need to tell, and a desire to protect the mother. Reasons for intending to disclose to the child included the belief that he or she had a right to know, and to avoid disclosure from someone else. Egg-donation parents with a 3-8-year-old child appear to resemble donor insemination parents in that they tend to favour a position of non-disclosure. The findings demonstrate the importance of understanding the views of egg-donation parents themselves, if openness is to be encouraged in these families.