Following a crush and a kiss: why is it lonely out there?

What do you think is the single most influential factor in determining with whom you become friends and whom you form romantic relationships? You might be surprised to learn that the answer is simple: the people with whom you have the most contact. This most important factor is proximity. You are more likely to be friends with people you have regular contact with. For example, there are decades of research that shows that you are more likely to become friends with people who live in your dorm,...

We typically love the people with whom we form relationships, but the type of love we have for our family, friends, and lovers differs. Robert Sternberg (1986) proposed that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These three components form a triangle that defines multiple types of love: this is known as Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Intimacy is the sharing of details and intimate thoughts and emotions. Passion is the physical attraction—the flame in the...

The dissolution of intimate relationships presents complex emotional and psychological challenges, particularly when emotional bonds are strong, the relationship is long-standing, and perceived alternatives are limited. This distress often intensifies in romantic breakups, where the initiator may experience greater turmoil than the rejected partner. Contributing factors include residual attachment, guilt over causing pain, and uncertainty about how to manage the situation. The stress is further...

We have discussed why we form relationships, what attracts us to others, and different types of love. But what determines whether we are satisfied with and stay in a relationship? One theory that provides an explanation is social exchange theory. According to social exchange theory, we act as naïve economists in keeping a tally of the ratio of costs and benefits of forming and maintaining a relationship with others (Rusbult & Van Lange, 2003).

As formulated by John Thibaut and Harold Kelley, Social Exchange Theory explains human relationships as economic-like exchanges that maximize rewards and minimize costs. This theory suggests that individuals engage in relationships to gain benefits and reduce burdens, similar to economic transactions. It has been widely applied to various types of relationships, including romantic, professional, and social interactions.Rewards and Costs in RelationshipsRelationship rewards include emotional...

Companionate love is a fundamental aspect of long-term relationships, characterized by deep affection, mutual respect, and emotional intimacy. Unlike passionate love, which is driven by intense emotions and physical attraction but often declines over time, companionate love remains stable and can even strengthen with shared experiences and commitment. Psychological and biological mechanisms underpin this enduring form of love, influencing relationship longevity and satisfaction.Stability and...