Perinatal grief and mourning

The grief and mourning that parents experience following a perinatal loss is as devastating as the loss of an older loved one. The pattern of mourning can be anticipated and interventions can be implemented. With proper help, the parents can pass through this catastrophic time in their lives with a minimum of scars. If the physician stops, reaches out, listens, and supports the parents, he or she can have a dramatic effect on the lives of these parents. In the same manner in which we started this paper, we close with a quotation from another parent who suffered a loss: Daughters may die, But why? For even daughters can't live with half a heart. Three days isn't much a life. But long enough to remember thin blue lips, uneven gasps in incubators, Racking breaths that cause a pain to those who watched. Long enough to remember I never held her Or felt her softness Or counted her toes. I didn't even know the color of her eyes. Dead paled hands not quite covered by the gown she Was to go home in. Moist earth smell. One small casket. And the tears. You see, I hold in my hand but souvenirs of an occasion. A sheet of paper filled with statistics, A certificate with smudged footprints, A tiny bracelet engraved "Girl, Smith." You say that you are sorry That you know how I feel. But you can't know because I don't feel. Not yet.