Communal relational context (or lack thereof) shapes emotional lives

A case is made that a communal relationship context (or lack thereof) shapes people's emotional lives for three reasons. First, a person's communal partners assume some degree of non-contingent responsibility for the person's welfare. This allows the person, when with or, at times, when thinking about such partners, to drop some self-protective vigilance, appraise situations as less threatening, focus attention outward on to situations and to see those situations through the partner's eyes often enhancing the emotional impact of those situations, express emotions which convey individual vulnerabilities and, in turn, receive and accept emotion regulation from partners. Second, a person is responsive to his or her communal partners' welfare. This leads a person, when with or, at times, when thinking about such partners to attend to partners' welfare and attendant emotions, mimic them, empathize with them and help to regulate them. This may also enhance how threatening situations seem when they might threaten the partner for whom the person feels communal responsibility. Third, communal relationships are valued by people. As a result certain emotions, which we call relational emotions, including embarrassment, hurt, guilt and gratitude commonly arise in the context of communal relationships as signals of the welfare of the relationship per se. In well-functioning communal relationships these emotions elicit partner responses that help to form, build, maintain and repair the relationships. It is more generally noted that other aspects of relational context (e.g. power differentials) also shape emotional lives and that emotion researchers are well-advised to attend to how all aspects relational context may influence emotional lives.