Whether Emotions are Engaging or Disengaging Depends on Relationship Functions

Researchers have categorized certain emotions as socially engaging (interdependence-affirming) and others as disengaging (independence-affirming), and have shown that these emotions pattern differently across cultures differing in dominant self-construals. However, the social functions different relationships serve and the associated nature of interdependence that characterizes relationships also differ within cultures. Across four samples, we examined how frequently Americans report experiencing, expressing, and perceiving eight emotions in the context of normatively communal and transactional relationships. We also examined how engaging and functional these emotions were reported to be. In studies 1 (N = 393) and 2 (N = 394), participants reported experiencing, expressing, and perceiving both putatively engaging (respect, guilt) and disengaging (pride, anger) emotions more frequently in communal relationships, and each emotion was reported as more engaging in communal than in transactional relationships. In studies 3 (N = 353) and 4 (N = 330), we examined the patterning of additional emotions that past work indicates are particularly tied to communal relationships (empathic joy, empathic sadness, hurt, love) across the same types of relationships as examined in studies 1 and 2. All of these emotions were more likely to be perceived and expressed in communal (versus transactional) relationships, and they were all judged to be more engaging and functional in communal than in transactional relationships. Additionally, participants believed expressing these emotions within transactional relationships would be disconnecting, relationship-undermining, and distancing (i.e., disengaging). In sum, whether emotions are "engaging" or "disengaging" appears to depend on how they fulfill the social functions of distinct relationships.

The online version contains supplementary material available at 10.1007/s42761-025-00327-8.