Transitioning Back to Maleness

Thirty-one years after living full time as a woman, a 53-year-old skilled machinist returned to have therapy with me, a psychiatrist, because of a decision to return to living as a man. As our work together continued, I suggested to this would-be published novelist that others might benefit from his experience. This led to his posting an extensive account of his life in September 2016 on Gender Trender. Now living in good mental and physical health as a male, he has given me permission to discuss his initial presentation, my understanding of his motivations, and to reflect on the broader questions that his life rises for the field of transgenderism. This report describes regret, defenses against regret, and a dramatic 3-day catharsis followed by the patient's first loving relationship. He now ironically reflects that he escaped from the sensed inauthenticity of his youthful maleness only to create a felt inauthentic feminine social psychological state. The professional literature about the long-term outcome of the transgendered who do not have surgery is largely nonexistent in English. Anecdotal accounts, however, are readily accessible on the Internet.