[Ambivalence, control, support. Caring for the elderly patient at a "good enough" distance]

In the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, visits by relatives to Nursing Homes for the Elderly (EHPAD) and Long-Term Care Units (USLD) have been severely restricted or even prohibited in order to protect the residents and patients, especially the most vulnerable among them. This situation has revived the debate around the place and role of the relational entourage in caring for the elderly. The relevance of family ties in supporting the narcissistic and objectal cathexis of the elderly has thus gained recognition. There is, however, the risk of an emerging form of uniformization and idealization, which the present article seeks to address by highlighting some aspects of the intrapsychic and inter-relational dynamics that drive the inherent complexity of those bonds.

The authors seek to identify the psychic processes involved in varying forms of presence and of motivation of "natural caregivers" and "professional caregivers." Their approach is based on a psychodynamic analysis of the consequences of the Covid-19 pandemic and the changes induced in the links between the patient or elderly resident and his or her entourage. Complex movements fueling the dynamics involved in these links are revealed. A clinical vignette based on research in clinical psychology and psychopathology is provided.

The pandemic context showed the creative strategies devised by relatives and carers to maintain forms of presence and links "at a distance" with isolated and confined elderly people. However, the various configurations of these arrangements also highlighted the tensions, sometimes tinged with rivalry, in the negotiations that inform the respective places and roles of family members and professionals around the subjects concerned. The caregiver's position is not self-evident and presupposes an involvement that cannot be construed on a merely functional and behavioral level. Rather, it requires a need for psychic work drawing on the identificatory and projective movements inevitably mobilized in closeness with the subject, without alienating oneself. Ambivalence, empathy, and support can then be deployed, where excessive control, covert hostility, and over-excitement are constant threats to such a necessarily close relationship. This disposition in the caregiver also encounters a singular psychic disposition on the part of the person being helped, informed by a lively conflictuality. This sometimes takes on surprising undertones, as in the case of Georges, an 86-year-old patient, where the caregiver as a "close-human-being" was fully recognized only on the condition that the relationship of help and care supported, sustained, and nourished unconscious masochistic needs.

These perspectives are an invitation to ponder the plurality of figures of the "close-human-being" and to find one's place in a psychic and relational economy where the self-preserving and psychosexual registers are in constant interplay. They also underline the need to focus on working, individually and collectively, on the quality of the entourage's presence. This is all mediated by a complex organizational pattern anchored in the potential for reciprocal support between the family group, the caregiving group, and the institutional setting.

These various propositions help clarifythe components of the psychic conflictuality implied, on the one hand, in the horizontal tensions existing between the various members of the familial and professional circle and, on the other hand, in the vertical tensions inherent in intergenerational dynamics. The elderly are far from being passive objects in this and their contribution is essential. The concern to ensure the close involvement of the elderly person's relatives and foster the quality of the ensuing exchanges is laudable, indeed vital. This should not, however, lead us to downplay the crucial and singular place the elderly subjects themselves occupy in individual, family, and societal dynamics, as full citizens, members of their relatives' entourage, and essential figures in the establishment of the great psychic organizing functions that structure the difference in generations and the psychic processes of identification.