Mattering and parental presence in systemic therapy using nonviolent resistance: The utilization of imaginary methods

An empowered sense of "self" is crucial for emotional well-being and positive relationships. Certain family interaction patterns can disrupt the adult's sense of "mattering" to the child, eroding their perceived self-efficacy. Mattering can be understood as a felt sense of relational agency which is necessary for experiencing one's interactions as meaningful, effective, and self-determined. When parents generate more positive future narratives in co-creation with their therapist, their sense of relevance to a child can be restored. In this way, more constructive forms of interaction can emerge with their child which has hitherto eschewed their care. This article aims to provide a conceptual basis for addressing an absence of reciprocity, where children demonstrate harmful or self-destructive behavior and refuse to cooperate in therapy. In such instances, one-sided parental action, utilizing nonviolent resistance methods, can influence relational dynamics. Imaginary methods can then facilitate shifts to psychological states in which the parent internally experiences efficacy and mattering more often without requiring validation from the "physical child" in the here and now. We introduce examples of specific imaginary techniques, which in our clinical practice have shown to facilitate such shifts in parents. We discuss neuroscientific theories that may account for their powerful impact we witness in our clinical experience.