'You've gotta be a man and be strong': Pakistani fathers' experiences of perinatal loss

Although women physically experience pregnancy, and grief might manifest differently, both mothers and fathers are affected similarly by perinatal loss. Research has predominately focused on Caucasian men, with the experiences of men from ethnic minority groups not researched. In the UK, the Pakistani community has one of the highest rates of perinatal loss, therefore this research aimed to explore the experiences of perinatal loss in Pakistani men.

Five Pakistani men who experienced perinatal loss, sometime between four months to eight years ago, were recruited via posters placed at NHS maternity and mental health services, a third sector service, and social media. Semi-structured interviews were used, and transcripts analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis.

Three Group Experiential Themes with a total of six group level subthemes were identified: 'A rollercoaster of emotions: from shock and distress to having hope', 'The hidden experience of baby loss as a Muslim man', and 'The felt stigma of baby loss in the Muslim community'. Perinatal loss results in ever-changing emotions, with a shift from shock to sense making through religion. Perinatal loss was considered a hidden experience, with men masking emotional responses by a desire to be seen as strong and supportive. The felt stigma of perinatal loss was discussed in the context of silenced conversations and a disconnection between religion and community. Further research is needed to consider different experiences of perinatal loss such as time frames since loss, having children prior to or after a loss, and other Muslim subgroups.