Making a Family: Kinning and Conception in Lesbian Families

In the Netherlands, lesbian couples have a relatively high level of agency in shaping conception, as they can choose between different donor constructions (sperm bank donor versus contact donor), high- and low-tech medical interventions, and clinical and non-clinical inseminations. This results in pluriform conceptive practices, which this paper examines through the lens of kinning, i.e. the active establishment of kinship ties. This paper aims to increase our understanding of how lesbian couples shape conception and how this is related to existing kinship discourses, particularly discourses on motherhood and the role of the donor. 48 semi-structured interviews with both partners in 24 lesbian couples expecting their first child were conducted and thematically analyzed. Analysis show that kinning intentions play an important role when lesbian couples make decisions for conception. Reaffirming the lesbian relationship and managing the relationship with the sperm donor were central concerns. I conclude that conception is a symbolically laden event in which different strategies could be employed to set the stage for desired future family relations. As such, conceptive practices provide a window into how expectant lesbian couples understand and mold existing kinship discourses to fit their families.