When empathy goes wrong: the perceived cost of empathy reduces empathic reactions to a friend

Empathy is susceptible to contextual cues that alter empathic reactions. When empathy is associated with unbearable discomfort, anticipated emotional pain, or financial burden, people tend to downregulate it. Reduced empathy has destructive consequences, but to date, the contextual antecedents of reduced empathy in close relationships due to perceived costs remain unexplored. In three studies (N = 733), we examined how the perceived cost of empathy influenced empathic responses toward close friends. When empathizing with a friend involved sharing negative emotions or where the friend hindered a valuable opportunity, participants consistently showed reduced empathy for friends. Moreover, they allocated less time to spend with their friends. These findings suggest that the perceived cost undermines empathic experiences in friendship. When people perceive a downside of empathy, their close friends may no longer be within the sphere of empathic concern.