[Pharmaceutical subjectivity in times of crisis in Madrid: Between survival, chronicity, and "It Must Be Me"]

In recent years, mental health has gained significant relevance, accompanied by a gradual reduction in stigma. As a result, more people are understanding and analyzing their suffering in psychological terms. However, for many individuals accessing public mental health services in a city like Madrid, medication remains the primary treatment option. This study aims to analyze the type of subjectivity produced through this form of intervention, based on the findings of an ethnographic research conducted between 2012 and 2014. The research included observation in mental health center consultations, 19 in-depth interviews with psychotropic drug users, and a reflection group with periodic meetings. Key findings highlight ambivalence towards medication and the need for continuous adjustments to minimize side effects. The resulting subjectivity revolves around central aspects such as the fear of relapse and side effects; autonomy, which conflicts with the notion of not trying on one's own; accountability, feelings of vulnerability and self-governance, core aspects of neoliberal subjectivity.