"Mourning Parts You Dreamed of Losing-But Not This Way": The Experience of a Nonbinary Person Diagnosed With Breast...

Purpose: Nonbinary breast cancer (NBBC) patients have unique healthcare needs that may not be met due to the gendered nature of breast cancer. Herein we explore the multifaceted experiences of an NBBC person. Methods: Qualitative intensive case study methodology was employed. Multisource data was gathered, including an in-depth interview, blogposts examination, and drawn comic evaluation analyzed using polytextual thematic analysis to generate themes. Methodologic rigor was pursued using member checking, maintaining an audit trail and holding several meetings to agree upon themes. Results: The participant's treatment included a double mastectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. Using multisource triangulation, four themes were identified, named leading, negotiating, being in-between, and confining. Leading encompasses feeling the responsibility of paving the way for NBBC patients. The participant described, for instance, how their blogposts were created as a resource, to ameliorate the "lack of representation" they felt clinically and online. Negotiating encapsulates negative experiences in healthcare settings and having to mentally prepare before entering them. In both interview and blogpost, they mentioned "going into medical spaces [preparing] to be misgendered". Being in-between highlights their intersecting identities shared in their blogposts, and the lack of support groups that supported their intersecting identities, "I felt like an island." Finally, confining captures the lack of control they felt over their gender expression, which was especially salient during chemotherapy when they were hyperaware of how they were perceived "I don't know if [people] see the baldness and flatness as a choice." Conclusion: This individual experienced significant psychosocial stress from isolation, misgendering, and gender dysphoria magnified by the pink-washing of their breast cancer journey.