Parenting a Gender Diverse Child: Parent Experiences of a Child Coming Out

A young person coming out as gender diverse-having a gender identity that differs from sex assigned at birth-can be a significant moment of change for the entire family. This qualitative study explored parents' experiences of their child coming out as gender diverse.

Twenty-five parents of gender diverse youth, ages 6-20 years, from the United States, submitted videos and were interviewed regarding their experiences of their child coming out. Data collection ceased when thematic saturation was achieved. Videos and interviews were transcribed and analyzed using the rigorous and accelerated data reduction technique.

Over one third of participants were Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color and 20% identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning. Almost one third were fathers and 8% were foster parents. Four themes and 10 subthemes were identified. Theme 1: Discovery highlighted the process of parents learning of their child's gender identity. Theme 2: Reaction showed parents' initial response to their child coming out, including feelings of confusion, shock, blame, and exclusion. Theme 3: Reflection centered parents' thought processes once they had time to consider their child is coming out. Theme 4: Recalibration explored parents' short-term adjustments and longer-term changes as a family after learning their child's gender identity.

Results of this study illustrate many of the shared experiences parents have when their child comes out as gender diverse. Insights from this research carry the potential to influence interventions directed at enhancing anticipatory guidance and support programs for parents, with the goal of improving health outcomes for gender diverse youth.