Buffering the Sting of Sexual Rejection to Promote Relationship Connection

Experiencing rejection from a romantic partner can be painful, and sexual rejection may have a lasting impact on satisfaction. However, some ways of communicating sexual rejection may elicit more constructive responses from the rejected partner, fostering continued connection in the face of rejection. Across three studies-a cross-sectional study of individuals in romantic relationships (Study 1; N = 315) and two dyadic daily diary studies (Studies 2-3; total N = 219 couples contributing 9,287 daily reports)-we tested whether specific ways of communicating sexual rejection are associated with the rejected partner's emotional and behavioral responses. Across studies, perceived hostile rejection (e.g. the partner displayed criticism) was associated with more negative responses (i.e. resentment) from the rejected partner. In contrast, perceived reassuring rejection (e.g. the partner expressed warmth or future interest in sex) elicited more positive responses to rejection (i.e. understanding) and maintained the rejected partner's sexual desire. The findings extend relationship theories to understand sexual conflict, and provide a framework of specific, observable behaviors that researchers and clinicians can incorporate to help couples navigate the challenges of sexual rejection.