The use of a mistress and the internalized sexual mother

Using clinical material and the transference manifestations from two married male patients who had mistresses and a female patient whose husband had a mistress, it is suggested that the mistresses are used to deal with the man's internalized sexual mother, thus allowing the wives to become the good-enough mothers that the men had never experienced. It would seem that the father unconsciously colludes with this incestuous relationship between the sexual mother and the son by not being an adequate husband. It is further suggested that one of the qualities of a good-enough father is the capacity to be a good-enough husband.