The dilemmas of dependency

Dependency can engender a host of negative feelings. Anger or irritation at caregivers, a burdening sense of indebtedness, and fear of increasing frailty are emotions commonly experienced by those receiving care. These negative reactions may stem from early life experiences in which parents failed to fulfill basic needs for protection and nurturance. Older patients who were abusive to their children when young may worry about "paybacks" during dependency. Still others recall the strain of taking care of their own parents years earlier and are afraid of anyone feeling toward them what they once felt. Differing expectations between generations, as well as sibling conflicts over parental care, can add to the difficulties. Case managers who are aware of these potential issues can help clients through them to a resolution.