Violence against ex-wives: anger and advocacy

Researchers on violence against women have failed to reveal any studies that provide definitive explanations for the violent behaviors of certain males. However, violence against women has been known to occur as a result of unusually potent situational stressors, regardless of the male's propensity toward violence. Some of these situational stressors occur during the process of marital separation and divorce, particularly in relation to disputes over child custody, support, and access. In this paper I report on a second-level analysis of a set of studies in Australia aimed at examining the experience of separating parents who did not gain custody of their children. One of the dominant themes that emerged in the initial analysis from the male cohort was the real or vicarious violence that pervaded the men's interactions with their ex-spouses. These men, from a range of socioeconomic backgrounds and age groups, freely discussed episodes in which they had either planned, executed, or fantasized about violence against their spouses in retaliation for real or perceived injustices related to child custody, support, and/or access. In many cases, these thoughts and actions were reinforced by the encouragement of other males. To a lesser extent, women also reported violent inclinations induced by the situation. The implications for those advocating for women and families are clear. There is a need to understand the experience of marital separation from the perspective of both spouses as a basis for family counseling. We must also heighten awareness of the need to educate young people away from an "ownership" model of marriage and relationships, which is counterproductive to the personal development of both partners. Equally important is the need for all health professionals to advocate for changes that would help to correct injustices in the family court system, many of which are related to gender issues.