Illusion and uncertainty in psychoanalytic writing

Psychoanalytic writing may be viewed as a particular version of creative process. As such, it evokes many of the self and object-related anxieties and conflicts associated with creative expression. This paper considers the role of illusion in facilitating an entry into the psychoanalytic writing process in the light of contemporary relational and feminist perspectives. It is suggested that the writer who struggles to write may engage certain real or internalized object experiences to retreat to a transitional idealized self-state and to enter the writing process. Two variants of this subjective state are described, based on Winnicott's notion of 'being' and 'doing' as underlying dimensions of human experience. Each self-state excludes a particular set of self- and object-related anxieties and creates a temporary illusion of creative certainty. That illusion helps the writer temporarily to avoid self-doubt and anxiety in order to enter the creative arena Ultimately, however, the protected writing space must expand if the writer is to address and integrate the world of psychoanalytic ideas within the writer's own creative process. This process is illustrated by a description of the evolution of my own experience as a psychoanalytic writer.