Do you have any children?

"Do you have any children?" It is a question often posed by the expectant mother as the midwife tends to their needs. For some, this enquiry may lead to an empathetic exchange and relationship building, while other midwives may shudder when they hear this question. Sadly, professional codes and boundaries do not always assist in the guidance of this exchange. Using Gibbs' reflective cycle (1998) as a framework, this article initially explores my motivations for the selection of responses I have used as a bereaved mother and midwife. Evaluation and analysis of these different approaches has given me an insight into how successfully they preserve the rapport I try to nurture with my clients but also how they might affect me. The reflective process has enabled me to understand how best to tackle the enquiry in future to safeguard my own feelings and that of the client, coming to the conclusion that honesty and truth-telling is probably the best practice.