"There is Nowhere Else That I'd Rather be Than with Them": Parents' Positive Experiences Parenting Autistic Children

A significant body of research focuses on the negative outcomes of parenting Autistic children, particularly when parents identify as non-Autistic. Less attention has been paid to the experiences of Autistic parents of Autistic children, and even less to the positive or fulfilling elements of parenting Autistic children, regardless of parent neurotype. This study therefore asked: What do parents value about their Autistic children, and what characterizes parents' positive relationships with their Autistic children?

Here, 40 Autistic and 40 non-Autistic parents completed semistructured interviews to understand better their positive experiences of parenting Autistic children. We analyzed participant responses using reflexive thematic analysis, using an inductive approach.

We identified five themes: parenting is both challenging and enjoyable and "there's the good and the bad and the highs and the lows" (theme 1); parents value time with their Autistic children and "there is nowhere else that I'd rather be than with them" (theme 2); parents value their Autistic child's personality and "just love watching her be who she is" (theme 3); parenting Autistic children is fulfilling and "I know I must be doing something right" (theme 4); and collaboration, learning, and acceptance are key to parenting fulfillment so that "I wouldn't have it any other way" (theme 5). Overall, parents told us that parenting could be complex and challenging, and that they had good and bad days. But many parents felt happy to parent their Autistic child, and they enjoyed laughing and doing things together with their child. Parents often really liked their Autistic child, who they thought was caring, funny, and interesting, and they described enjoying their child's company, speaking about the qualities and characteristics they valued in their Autistic child. Some parents felt happy when their child needed them. They liked it when they could help their child and make their child feel safe. This made them feel like they were doing a good job as parent. Parents discussed the personal positive impact of experiencing feelings of self-efficacy and the role of Autistic children in their personal growth. Finally, parents thought that it was important to accept their child and that their life would be different than what they imagined. They reflected on the role of acceptance and flexibility in their experiences of joy and fulfillment.

We show that both Autistic and non-Autistic parents of Autistic children have positive, joyful, and valuable parenting experiences. Our findings have far-reaching implications, including how researchers and practitioners conceptualize parenting Autistic children, and the ways in which parents can be supported to foster such experiences.