Failing Others' Expectations: Negative Emotions and Behavior Change in Daily Life

Social expectations are a ubiquitous part of human experience, yet little is known about the emotions associated with failing to fulfill others' social expectations. In two studies, we examined the effects of failing to fulfill others' social expectations on individuals' emotions, and assessed how situational factors moderate these effects. Study 1 aimed to establish the relationship between social expectation violation and negative affects in ecologically valid everyday contexts using daily diary methods. We found that in both Chinese and American college student samples, negative affects scaled with the degree to which one failed to fulfill a social expectation (i.e., violation). Moreover, the perceived legitimacy and strength of an expectation modulated the relationship between expectation violation and negative affect. Study 2 showed that the participants in Study 1 systematically overestimated the legitimacy and strength of the social expectations they reported relative to independent raters who evaluated the social expectations from a third-person perspective. Importantly, overestimation of the legitimacy of social expectations led to significantly higher self-reported negative affects. Taken together, we demonstrated the critical role of failing to meet social expectations in individuals' negative social emotions in two cultural contexts and pinpointed important modulating factors of such effects. These results have implications for interventions aiming to alleviate the impacts of social expectations on emotional well-being.

The online version contains supplementary material available at 10.1007/s42761-026-00365-w.